A few years ago, I decided to really heavily commit to my craft for the first time. I had always been a writer, always been good with my pen, always told that I had a gift.
Sometimes I wish I had started and really committed to being a Writer with a capital ‘W’ earlier, but I don’t like to dwell. Everything happens exactly as and exactly when it should. Plus, an adolescence and early adulthood full of slacking off in order to pursue getting into trouble and having fun with my friends has given me a lifetime of writing material. And for that, I am very thankful.
But a lifetime of writing material and “good ideas” brewing in my mind, a rusty right hand and an underdeveloped writing muscle, and the gift and curse that is ADHD, I found myself with a paralyzing anxiety and indecision about what idea to pursue first, and on what medium. Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to explain how I felt about getting my ideas from my overactive mind all the way onto the page. I remember worrying most (and I still do, from time to time) on which idea to pursue first. Where to start. I had a few really good ideas for funny TV shows, I had a concept for a drama series, or maybe it could be a novel, or is it too early to write a memoir? And why would anyone buy my memoir anyway? Maybe I should write a TV show first, or become known as a comedienne so that people would buy a book of essays like I bought Mindy Kaling’s, or Tina Fey’s, or Amy Poehler’s.
I kept hearing the voices of family members and friends who had ridiculed me for “never finishing anything.” My most commonly occurring anxious thought even to this day when it comes to my work is that I won’t finish things; that when I die I’ll just have scraps of paper with “brilliant ideas” and halfway finished pilot episodes to show for myself. But now, I see that as a challenge, not a curse, and I love me a challenge.
So eventually, push came to shove, and I found myself simply googling something like, “How to organize your ideas as a writer”. Surprisingly enough, I found the most useful tips & resources on Pinterest (another post on this coming soon), but I also found lists upon lists of books by writers (obviously) about writing.
The first book I picked up when I decided to really dig in (I swear the pun was a happy accident lol) was Writing Down the Bones: Freeing The Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg. Writing Down The Bones taught me the importance of just writing—really and truly writing. Her prose also reminded me (and continues to remind me) that I am a writer. That it’s engrained within me, that it’s in my bones. The power of a 20-minute free write, where you just write, and don’t allow your mind to stop your hand from touching the page. Not to delete, not to edit, not to pause and overthink.
It means a lot when I’m reading about or talking to an artist, and we’re on the same page (again, I swear, my mind just thinks in puns naturally lmao). It’s confirmation that I’m more of an artist than a non-artist, despite what I convinced myself over and over again long ago. Shuts my imposter syndrome right up.
Some golden advice from Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down The Bones: Freeing the Writer Within:
“Naturally, once you begin writing you might be surprised where your mind takes the topic. That’s good. You are not trying to control your writing. You are stepping out of the way. Keep your hand moving. The rule for writing practice of ‘keeping your hand moving,’ not stopping, actually is a way to physically break through your mental resistances and cut through the concept that writing is just about ideas and thinking. You are physically engaged with the pen, and your hand, connected to your arm, is pouring out the record of your senses. There is no separation between the mind and body; therefore, you can break through the mind barriers to writing through the physical act of writing, just as you can believe with your mind that your hand won’t stop at the wood, so you can break a board in karate.
And a mini list of writing topics that I highlighted and always come back to:
Write about the quality of light coming in through your window. Jump in and write. Don’t worry if it is night and your curtains are closed or you would rather write about the light up north—just write. Go for ten minutes, fifteen, a half hour.
the stars
the most frightened you’ve ever been
the closest you ever felt to God or Nature